the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
did you just send me my own nude
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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