I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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