he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sobbing to NWA
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
