I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
