her vagine was all disorganized.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
