he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
