My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
