I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
