So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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