Four minutes until I can fart!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
