id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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