Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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