FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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