Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
BRING THE BAGELS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
