You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I want to fling myself into the sun
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
