After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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