Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
