these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
