Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
