we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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