He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
