WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
