He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
