Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
