Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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