this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
