3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
