I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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