if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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