let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
