It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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