VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
