Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
