just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How naked do you want me to be?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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