I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
