We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
