she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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