After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
