I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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