Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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