I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
