Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
