Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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