some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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