is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
