IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
