I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
