so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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