so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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