and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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